The Morning After

Valentine’s Day has come and gone. Now what?

Let’s see, you probably find yourself in one of these situations this morning:

- The day went great – you’re looking forward to a romantic year ahead.
- The day went south – you’re in recovery mode.
- You spent the day alone – time for a change.
- You’ve got a wedding to plan.

If the day moved your relationship to a new level, congratulations! You can go even higher in the days ahead. First, you need to solidify your gains. What’s true about your forward leap? Besides feeling different, what IS different? Think about how you will reinforce these differences. What will your life together be like now?

If you’re in recovery mode, congratulations! You’re on your way up. Endings are also beginnings. Take a few moments to learn from the past, and then move on. What will you do differently next time? More important, how will you BE different next time? Write out your desires. Describe your ideal partner and the relationship you want. Then think about how to become the person who will attract that person and that relationship.

If you spend the day alone, congratulations! Being alone is perfect preparation for being together. Needy people attract needy partners. When you’re comfortable alone, you attract people who can take care of themselves, with enough energy to spare to build a strong relationship. Being alone is ok, especially if it’s your choice. Is it your choice? If not, what changes will you make in order to attract your ideal partner? Are you willing to make these changes?

If you just got engaged, congratulations! You’re entering an exciting time of great change and growth. You can choose to consciously use your wedding planning to set up your marriage, or leave your wedding, and your marriage, to others. Now’s the time to focus on your vision for your marriage, and get started bringing that into existence. Will you plan your future together? Or is one of you in charge? Do you set boundaries with friends and relatives, or do they set them? Keep your eyes on your marriage and hang on to your partner. Otherwise, the wedding vortex will swallow you.

It may be just another day in February, with a lot more pink than the rest. Or, perhaps it’s a beginning for you. We’re fond of saying how difficult change is. How about focusing on how exciting it can be? Throw yourself into creating the future relationship you desire and deserve. Let’s make it a great year for love!